You Can Run – But You Can’t Hide

Personal responsibility. Humility. I’ve written about it before, so why am I writing this? Because it’s important. Very. Important.

Why is it that when there’s some sort of confrontation or disagreement, no one involved wants to step up and offer a solution? This is a broad generalization, of course, but we see it time and time again. At work, at home, with friends – it’s not fun to admit to making a mistake. But that’s not the point. In order to find a solution, one must step up and move on. When a delivery date is missed at work, it impacts everyone involved. The “owner” of the delivery date (the one responsible) should simply say “My bad – here’s what we can do…”, rather than “Hmmm, that supplier really screwed up…” or “Gee – I wish I would have known about this decision earlier…”. Whatever the scenario, it’s neither right nor helpful to hide behind excuses. In fact, making excuses magnifies the issue and compromises the responsible party’s position by making them appear weak and inadequate.

Personal responsibility is about owning one’s decisions and dealing with the results / consequences of such decisions. Wouldn’t it be so much easier for an employee who makes a mistake to say “Oops – I messed up – here are my suggestions to make it right”? We see it all the time in sports – folks owning up to mistakes. On the basketball court – when someone misses a pass, they look at their intended teammate and pat their own chest as a way of saying “My bad”. On the soccer field, it’s much the same – miss a pass or miss an opportunity, the player simply acknowledges the mistake and keeps playing. If he gets too wrapped up in the mistake, he won’t be able to contribute effectively for the subsequent plays. He may even psyche himself out of the whole game and compromise the entire team’s effort. Similarly, our employee who makes a mistake could be affected the same way – by making excuses and not admitting wrongdoing, she could be compromising the entire team’s effort to set things straight. All it takes is a little humility – and s/he’s back in the game.

In families, the scenarios are endless. He said / she said games and the classic “I wasn’t hugged enough as a child” mentality have been played out ad nauseum. Now – this is not to take away from the needs of children in any way. We all need love. The point is that this victim mentality has to go. It’s not healthy, it’s not effective, and it’s certainly not solutions-oriented. Do we really want to move on? Or are we content to wallow? What good comes from this mentality? Nothing. Of course, there are limits to this scenario – but the principle remains the same. In order to move forward, one must accept a certain level of responsibility.

No more hiding!

Why is this so difficult to do? Why is our first instinct to run and hide rather than plant our feet and admit a mistake? I’m not sure – but I do know that enduring the discomfort of admitting a mistake is well worth it in the long run. Rather than choosing to appear weak and afraid, admitting a mistake sends the opposite message. It takes confidence and self-assurance to set things right. Humility – it takes a bit of humility.

Taking our cue from sports – it’s clear that humility is a vital part of team work. At work and at home, we are essentially players on a larger team. Knowing this, it’s our responsibility to be humble and responsible teammates. It’s time to step up and play by the rules.

Advertisement