It’s been a long time since my last post, and as the time slipped away, I became more intimidated. What could I possibly have to share after so long? Would anyone care? As I’d sit down to write something, I would end up saving it as a draft, never to actually share it. What was happening? I had become….boring. I needed a spark – something to break the mesmerism. Anything.
Finally (and mercifully) – in a rather unique way, my breakthrough arrived. Twice a year, CrossFit Seattle challenges its members to a 7-week LEANing challenge. Every day for the 7-weeks, we document what we eat and send it to the group each week. The goal is to eat Paleo for the 7-week period – eliminating grain, dairy, legumes and anything processed from your diet completely. Based on before and after photos, whoever shows the most dramatic results in their physical appearance after the 7-week period wins the kitty (we all put in $30 to play). I’ve done this before – last year – and it was difficult, but well worth the effort (and no, I didn’t win). As I begin this year’s challenge, I was struck with an eye-opening revelation.
I thought about this as I shoved another piece of dark chocolate into my mouth in a moment of weakness, and I realized that I had struck upon something really remarkable. This challenge would force me to live on purpose. And right now, I wasn’t living on purpose. I was just living. I was going through the motions every day with a lackluster attitude. I had sort of lost the spark, and I felt defeated. In my work, my relationships – everything – was just boring and routine. I didn’t feel empowered and I certainly didn’t feel excited about my potential.
Could I fit in with my successful brothers?
This brings me to another point – perhaps a separate point altogether – but it fits in nicely with my thought process. Growing up as the youngest of 5, and the only girl, I felt special. I always loved my brothers – whether they were my “full” or “half” brothers – they were all my brothers and I felt like I had my own bodyguards. I looked up to each one of them, and I still do. As an adult, I’ve learned to appreciate them in a different way – we’re peers now. I’m no longer the kid sister tagging along. However, it’s become clear that I still have things to work through on my own. I know it’s not healthy to compare ourselves with others, but it’s hard not to compare ourselves with our siblings. In my case, each of my brothers has a specific and focused course – and they’re all wildly successful in their respective careers. We have an orthopedic surgeon, an organizational psychologist (with his own company), a successful artist (with his own gallery in NYC), and a Captain in the Marine Corps who is now a Chaplain in the US Army. Then there’s me – the floundering sister trying to “make it”. What am I doing with myself? What *is* my career? Will I ever be “successful”? You could run in many directions with these questions. But I think it ties in nicely with my LEANing Challenge. Here’s what I’ve discovered…
The LEANing challenge is less about food and more about intentional living. I don’t really care all that much about the physical benefits of eating a certain way – I’m sure those will be great, but that’s not my motivation. Right now in my life, I need some focus. I need to remember why I’m important and why I matter. No – I’m not feeling sorry for myself. I’m pretty darn grateful for what I have in my life. But I know I have so much more to give, and I’m ready for that. So, this challenge is about being on purpose. By holding myself accountable with my food intake, I’m forced to document what I eat. And when I document what I eat, I’m forced to be accountable in other areas. What else, then, can I be accountable for? What about my thinking? Who is monitoring that if I’m not? How am I acting? Am I living a life that I can be proud of?
I fully anticipate these 7 weeks to be full of discovery. It’s almost as though I’m primed for my transformation from kid sister to wildly successful member of the family. It’s time for me to take rank with my wonderful brothers. Success doesn’t mean the size of my paycheck, as I’ve written about before, but it’s about satisfaction and happiness. This challenge will act as a springboard for me. It’s a transformation that will redefine how I perceive myself and those around me.
You don’t need to go on a diet (or have 4 big brothers) in order to reap the benefits of this challenge. For the next 7 weeks, let’s consider a few questions. Are you holding yourself accountable? What could you improve in your own life? Think about your own thought – are you monitoring what you allow into your thinking? Are you living on purpose? By simply changing the way we approach our daily lives, we can transform the way we think and act. We all have so much to give and share with the world – let’s be sure we’re utilizing every opportunity to do so.
Thanks Emily! I’ve had to deal with the same feeling being the “invisible middle child,” also with successful siblings. Like the divine One, each of us is one alone and without an equal. The originality of man is the genius of man. I like the questions at the end – nice way to a wakeup call.